God gives you what you need,not what you demand to have

hey there,
its been a while since my last post

this day, i am being so suspicious about everything, even for the very simple thing.
or maybe i am just being so greedy or ..hmmm.. i dont know

"God gives you what you need, not what u demand to have"..
are you familiar with that lines... so am i. and agree with that?
i am just being so curious about this lines anw
and i ve been thinking over and over again..why is that sooo

weell, if you think what u get is what i indeed need. why do i feel so blue when it comes to me?
and up untill tonight i am still busy wondering, thinking and .....

..^^..comfort zone of mine

aloha, salam hula2..

after a while, i realise that this space is kinda boring and messy*i noe that from the start^^*. yet it kind of a comfort zone of mine whereby i can simply throw away some rubbish so called resentful feeling.
*haha..poor you, my dear*
hm... honestly, i do not bother so much about how does it look. the usefullness of this space is i more concern about.

i wont simple judge people.no i will not
neither blame them for what i feel deep down inside. no , no use at all
but i would rather tell you that.. i hate it..
if u do not really want to help me. please tell me straight away
if you can not keep your promise. u better keep ur mouth shut.
well i do not hate u
i do not hate the way u treat me
i appreciate it. i feel greatful for that.
thanks to you

ku lari ke hutan kemudian menyanyi ku
ku lari ke pantai kemudian teriak ku
sepi.... sepi... dan sendiri aku benci.

hingar bingar aku mau di pasar
bosan aku dengan penat
enyah saja kau pekat
tapi berjelaga jika ku sendiri

pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba-laba belang di tembok ratan putih
kenapa tak goyangkan saja lonceng nya biar terdera
apa aku harus lari kehutan lalu kepantai

missing piece

sejauh ini gw cmn bisa blg satu kata... "GUWA BENCI DECEMBER"
desember itu bener2 udh kayak kelabu, warnanya abu2 dan kelam suram mengerikan
hah, untung nya tmn2 chatting saia sudah bertambah..
at least biarpun ngobrolnya agk ngaco it helps to kill my hatred to december

december is the time where the whole family get to gather and spend most of their time together
tp gw malah mengasingkan diri d sudut bandar sunway
udh gitu liburan dec juga liburan sucks yg gk tau lah, sucks abis mah pkknya
all i want for chistmas is.......

pernah berasa gk sih semuanya berjalan super cepet
semua berubah jauh di luar expectation
and semua strategi rasanya salah.
aneh, kenapa ya?

gk aneh. cmn saia nya aj emg lagi gk jujur
saia lg sembunyi2 ttg sesuatu
saia sedang melindungi sesuatu

jadi giman donk gimana nih
hahaha
januari sepertinya bakal horrible
secara semua udh berubah dan berubah jauh dr expectation

...telpon mama...

hahaha365x, akhirnyaaaaa.... semenjak sekian lama eke gk bisa buka blog dan benda2 maya laennya krn alasan simple yaitu *LUPA DEH GW PASWORDNYA APAAN*.
eh kebuka juga, hepi kah? gk tuh, biasa aj. sama seperti saia sekarang
baru juga nyetrika bentar. gw udh suntuk se-suntuk2nya. dan tiba2 kepikiran pengen nelpon si mamah. er, gk tau jg sih pengen apa. cmnnya pengen dgr suaranya aj.khas banget.hahaha365x
trus juga berasa loser aj terutama untuk 2 periode terakhir ini. pengen sekalian curhat ke mama ttg betapa losernya anaknya nih.aneh deh. saia mulai gk peka. seharusnya dlm situasi kayak gini saia ngerasa bersalah ngelangsa de-el-el. tp yg ada yg saia datar2 aj. di tanya pun saia tanpa ragu cerita. tidak juga berasa malin kundang yg hobi hura2.

buat mama yg lg sakit. cepet sembuh ya.
mam, dtg dong.. anaknya kangen nih.
bego deh td sok jual mahal wkt mama blg mo dtg
kangen begadang bareng nih, kangen kangen banget sm mama *huks..

Me.. and *home sweet home*

ah tittle yg kurang menarik but membuka blog PERDANA saia.. yet.. it's what i thought.
..(bandar sunway, Malaysia -4.27.13am-)..
kalo d lihat dari pukul berapa saia bikin blog ini im supposed to have a very very nice dream but im not.. masi kebangun mikirin inih..ituh..sanah..sinih... dan detak jam weker item d samping kanan tangan ini membawa lamunan saia ke rumah *secara saia sekarang tinggal a miles away from home sweet home*

..seketika teringat detak jam dinding polos persegi yg menempel tinggi d ruang depan rumah saia dan pikiran pun melayang pada sosok MAMA..
jadi inget klo dua makhluk nakal yg masi keliaran tengah malem *mama & saia* suka curi2 minum teh bareng bersama si kue marie, kuaci, dan snack2 laen nya walaupun udh ngembat dinner super large... mungkin yg qta *saia dan si-mamah* cuman cerita2 ttg hari ini, atau hal konyol, dan laen2 hari ini tapi justru itu yg pada akhirnya jadi ritual khusus qta berdua.
..dan setelah saia d export jauh dari rumah, ritual ini jadi ritual wajib klo saia pulang kampung.. mama justru rela terantuk-antuk, merem melek, tp tetep senyum sambil megangin cangkir tehnya.. saia ingat! how excited she was when i told her about my school life, my friends, my days, and anythings regardless how sleeping she is.

at last, i think it might be a main reason for me to get homesick so so so often, especially when i got so many things to do, so many assignments and tests to be done.

i miss a cup of tea or two with mom *my biological sister*